Movie Review: The Grudge 2

It is with heavy heart that my first movie review on this blog has to be this steaming pile, but it's what I most recently went to see. The Grudge 2 can easily be summed up as 100 minutes of plotless miasma that introduces more main characters than the director has braincells for no other purpose than to have them killed off in a fashion that grew old about five minutes after The Ring hit theaters. For those wondering exactly what happens in the movie, imagine The Grudge, then take away all plot elements and leave all the bits where powder white children jump out of shadows. Then proceed to kill everyone that appears on camera. Yes, everyone. Don't expect a reason, an explanation, or even creative death scenes. Viola, you have The Grudge 2.

The suckitude of this movie is not limited to the writing, directing, or producing, it extends very much into the acting department. It is stunning that such a vast cast of people can produce the exact same unconvincing guise of terror, which comes off more as vague confusion, in the face of the reality bending supernatural of meowing children hiding underneath your desk without so much the courtesy of performing sexual favours. You paid something (most likely your sanity) to see this movie, it might as well have been that.

The makers of this movie must have been somewhat aware of the travesty that they were filming, because they made a marvelous connection with the audience right around the point where the entranced woman starts vomiting milk back into the jug she just emptied. This is exactly what the theater is doing right around this point as they become overwhelmed by the thought that they are actually paying to see this. In a striking parallel to reality, the friend watching her walks away without a care in the world while she takes a cellphone call, with your money burning a hole in her back pocket. This is, apparently, exactly what Sony Pictures is doing right about now while you empty your stomach contents onto the fly paper floor of the theater. And they wonder why movies aren't pulling in as much money lately.

Words fail to describe exactly how pointless this movie really is, and anyone who is considering spending their $12 to watch it should know that they would easily be more entertained by spinning in circles for the duration that this shite fest is running.

Giving this movie a score of 0 out of 10 almost seems too generous.